Unhappy Mother’s Day: Should I move out?

 

Yesterday, I looked forward to Mother’s Day, but something went wrong. There isn’t much food in the house due to my mother not getting her paycheck. I hadn’t received my last paycheck from my work study job yet. Then, I did finally receive my meager paycheck. I decided to buy some Chinese food for the family to eat for dinner. My mother didn’t like it due to the small quantity of the food and called me selfish. Nothing I can is ever right in my eyes. This time, I believe that it is time to go on my own and not look back.

In my twenty one years of living, I only lived apart from my mother for a year or so. I did so to get away from her, form my own sense of independence as I went away to college. I had to come back home due to not having a form of income to sustain a living. Though I had some spats here and there, I was able to tolerate living at home…..until recently.  The tension started to mount when I got the job at the admission’s office and started to make my own money. She would always rely on me for money despite earning money from two income sources. And she would get mad at me for trying to save my money for more valuable pursuits. Though my mother would always criticize me and make me feel worthless, the topic of money would exacerbates the problem even more.

Fortunately, I called a few friends to discuss the issues I was having with my mother. This older friend of mine suggested that I pray about it and find a way to move out while the other wanted me to stick it out.  But the most helpful advice came from a long time friend of mine. She told me to build up my self esteem and move out of my mother’s place as I get ready to transfer to University of Tampa. As much as I want to gain some independence from my mother, I truly want to cut off contact from her once I gain some independence.

At the end of the day, I believe that family can be one of the most troubling aspects of one’s life. In the case, it happens to be the dilemma. I realize that the best thing to do is keep my distance from her and eventually cut off contact. Cutting off contact from someone, particularly a relative, isn’t a rash decision. Unfortunately, I believe that it is set in stone for a non existent relationship with my mother in the coming future years. Outweighing the positives and negatives of cutting off contact from my mother and her side of the family, I believe that there will be more positive benefits from distancing myself from these people.

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2 thoughts on “Unhappy Mother’s Day: Should I move out?

  1. I understand what you’re going through. For the most part, our parents do not know how to effectively communicate nor do they know how to foster creativity and growth in their children. I dealt with a similar situation and have been kicked out of the house many times by my mother and physically abused by both of them so I can definitely relate. It’s a lot more peaceful living on my own but if things were better, I would prefer to have a family unit that functions like non-American families. Ones where the child can stay with their family for as long as they need to, they’re supported and protected. Unfortunately, in America that’s too much to ask for. It’s definitely harder living on your own, especially with every area being gentrified and having no support system like white people do. You’ll more than likely be living paycheck to paycheck like most of America. This isn’t an attack it’s just the truth. If you truly want to move out, I suggest getting a place with 2 other friends so that everything isn’t on you. I know people who are trying to make it alone and are living out of their cars if not completely on the street with no car. I would be that way too if I had no support. I hope you do not take offense to what I’ve said and I wish you the best in your endeavors.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My family nor my mother are American. They are immigrants from the Caribbean. Much of this family conflict isn’t limited to Americans or Black people, who reside in America. America and the West’s focus on individualism turns the focus away from collectivism and family values, which I was taught. Despite whatever I go through with my mother, she is pretty much my only support system outside of a few friends that I have.

    No, I am not offended by your comment. In fact, you are correct. It isn’t easy, living on your own. Like I stated in the article. I did live away from my mother for nine months in an apartment with three college aged roommates, but I had to return home. I didn’t really have a source of income coming through and relied on Financial Aid. Now, I will take your advice and find a roommate to room with and split the rent once I find a place for myself. Your input was appreciated.

    Like

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